Eight years ago, I weighed 230 pounds. I drank a lot of beer and felt sorry for myself. I probably couldn’t run 2 miles.

And then I decided to stop the nonsense.

I learned about marathons and committed to be the best runner that my endomorphic body could become. I mean I really don’t have the gifts from the gene genie, trust me. In 2002, I ran my first marathon. I came in 515th place. Three years later, after a lot of miles, a lot of pain, and a lot learning, I carved my PR down by 1:13--running a 2:32. In 2006, I made the top 200 list of American marathoners (that year).

Since that time, I’ve won the Hudson-Mohawk Marathon and placed second at Napa. I’ve also won the 100-mile Himalayan Stage Race.

I’m not writing all this to make myself feel better about my relatively difficult life in the early 2000s. No one likes a braggart and to be honest, these times aren’t that special. Seriously, a 2:32 back in 1970s America was like 515th place at the Boston Marathon. We’ve just gotten slower, because, well, see the first sentence of this advertisement.

I’m writing this, because I can help you if you want to run better. I can coach you. I can get you to qualify for Boston or do whatever, within reason.

Yes, it will cost some money. Probably not that much. And besides, can you put a price on a PR if you are a serious runner?

Yes, I have references; I’ve been coaching for over five years and have numerous examples of athletes achieving PRs and breakthroughs that I would be happy to provide.

Yes, I know what I am talking about. I’ve interviewed elite coaches and athletes for nearly a decade and have gleaned a ton of useful information that I can apply to your training.

Yes, I can write you a training plan.

Yes, I can call you and talk you through things.

Yes, if you live near Philly, I can show up at your door or at your track or on the roads.I can run with you and kick you in the butt.

Yes, I can tell you about nutrition and other stuff like cross-training.

No, I am not expensive.